Dana McNeil
LMFT

Dr. Dana McNeil is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and is the founder of a group practice called The Relationship Place located in San Diego, California. Dana’s practice specializes in couples’ therapy and utilizes an evidence-based type of couples’ therapy which is known as the Gottman Method. Dana is a certified Gottman Method therapist and Bringing Home Baby instructor. Dana’s practice works with all types of relationship issues from pre-marital counseling, dealing with the aftermath of extramarital affairs, partners working through addiction recovery, military deployed families, parents of special needs children, LGBTQ, and polyamorous clients. Dr. Dana makes presentations about her work with couples at conferences such as Therapy Reimagined, UCLA’s Emerging Behaviors Conference, CAMFT and the Gottman Institute. She is often featured on relationship podcasts such as the Practice of the Practice, the Practice of Therapy, Modern Therapists Survival Guide, and her own-The D Spot.

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Grey Divorce and Empty-Nesters – Understanding Challenges in Older Adult Relationships
Friday | May 2, 2025
2:00 pm - 3:30 pm
(1.5 CEs)

Session Description

Helping Clinicians have a better understanding and approach to serving the unique challenges that arise for older adult relationships.

An April 2021 report released by the U.S. Census Department found that 34.9 percent of all Americans who got divorced in the previous calendar year were aged fifty-five or older. Part of the reason is due to couples experiencing the phenomenon known as empty nest which often leads to divorce as a fallout in the family unit when older children move on to the next phase of life. The divorce amongst these couples is often because the lack of children as a focus, puts a spotlight on relationships that have been neglected or ignored. Another factor, The American Psychological Association reports that infidelity is the main cause of 20% to 40% of divorces.

As society embraces seventy as being the new fifty, decades long marriages are ending at an astonishing rate, making them currently the largest segment of the population to seek divorce. As a result, a new term known as Grey Divorce has made it’s way into the collective vernacular.

Attend this course to obtain an overview about the issues and reasons working with older adult couples needs to differ in approach and understanding from working with younger couples. Learn about the issues arising in relationships in the later stages of life and what to take into consideration in your approach and evaluation of the health of the relationship. This discussion will also include conversations about the lack of societal recognition of the important life changes happening for older adults that can lead to disenfranchised grief and disconnection between older partners.

During this workshop, learn how the stressors and challenges that dealing with older children leaving (or not leaving home), divorce, sex after 50, dating as an older adult, and declining health all play into the mental health and impact the motivation for problem-solving in aging couples.

Consider the tools and interventions that will help you gain knowledge and options to use with couples who are facing disruptions in their relationship status as they prepare for retirement and beyond. Join us for a discussion about the challenges partners face about the potential of becoming a caregiver for a chronically ill partner. We will also evaluate the impact of disenfranchised grief on older individuals and the ripple effect it can have on the couples

Learning Objectives:

• Name at least two reasons, trends, and mindsets happening for older adults regarding their desires and needs from relationships at fifty-years-old and beyond.
• Consider the role of disenfranchised grief on older individuals who are dealing with physical changes, lack of purpose post retirement, and perpetual losses later in life. Describe at least two ways the ripple effect of these milestones and the lack of societal recognition, scarcity of support systems, and even guilt and shame impact perceived closeness and connection.
• Evaluate at least two interventions from the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy that you can use to help couples over fifty-years-old stay connected, manage conflict, resolve old unresolved injuries, and rebuild friendship and companionship after decades of neglect.
• Assess at least three ways that your ability to normalize, provide psycho education, and alternative ways of evaluating and coping with these life changes for clients who are often less familiar with therapy and may be unfamiliar with the value of attending.
• Integrate new techniques in the way you approach conversations about the process keeping a relationship healthy no matter the age of the partners or lack of prior connection.